Night terrors vs. nightmares: what every parent should know
It's 2 AM, and you're jolted awake by blood-curdling screams coming from your little one's bedroom. Heart pounding, you rush in to find your child sitting up in bed, eyes wide open, appearing terrified and inconsolable. You try to comfort them, but they seem to look right through you. Then, just as suddenly as it started, they lie back down and drift peacefully back to sleep—leaving you shaken and wondering what just happened.
Come morning, when you ask your little one about their scary night, they look at you with confusion. "What are you talking about, Mommy? I slept great!"
If this scenario sounds familiar, you may have witnessed a night terror. As frightening as these episodes can be for parents to watch, they're quite different from nightmares, and understanding the difference can help you support your child more effectively and bring some peace back to your own nights.
What are night terrors?
Night terrors (also called sleep terrors) are a type of parasomnia—unusual behaviors that occur during sleep. Unlike the scary dreams we might imagine, night terrors happen when your little one is actually in a very deep stage of sleep and isn't fully conscious.
During a night terror episode, your child may:
Sit up suddenly in bed, often screaming or crying with intense fear Your little one might appear wide awake, but they're actually still deeply asleep and unaware of their surroundings.
Have physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, or rapid breathing Their body is experiencing a fight-or-flight response, even though they're not truly awake or in danger.
Be difficult to wake or comfort, sometimes thrashing or moving around Because they're in such deep sleep, your usual soothing techniques may not work, and they might even seem more agitated if you try to wake them.
Have no memory of the episode the next morning This can be both a relief and a source of confusion for parents who were so worried about their child's distressing night.
Night terrors typically occur during non-REM sleep, usually in the first few hours after falling asleep when your child is in their deepest sleep phase. Most children who experience night terrors are between ages 3 to 7, and the encouraging news is that they usually outgrow them by adolescence.
What about nightmares?
Nightmares are quite different from night terrors, though both can be distressing for families. Nightmares are frightening dreams with vivid, story-like details that happen during REM sleep, typically in the second half of the night when your little one is sleeping lightly.
When your child wakes from a nightmare, they will typically:
Be fully awake and alert Unlike with night terrors, your child will be genuinely awake and aware of you and their surroundings.
Remember the scary dream in detail They may want to tell you all about the monster they saw or the scary situation they dreamed about.
Need comfort, reassurance, and help falling back asleep Your hugs, gentle words, and presence will be genuinely comforting and effective in helping them feel safe again.
Nightmares are very common, especially among preschoolers and early school-aged children, as their imaginations develop and they begin processing more complex fears about darkness, monsters, separation, or things they've seen or heard during the day.
Why do night terrors and nightmares happen?
While we don't completely understand everything about why night terrors occur, sleep experts have identified several factors that can trigger episodes:
Overtiredness or sleep deprivation When your little one doesn't get enough sleep, their sleep cycles can become disrupted, making night terrors more likely to occur.
Irregular sleep schedules or sudden changes Changes in routine, travel, or inconsistent bedtimes can throw off your child's natural sleep rhythm.
Fever or illness When your child isn't feeling well, their sleep patterns can be affected, potentially triggering night terror episodes.
Family history If you or your partner experienced night terrors or sleepwalking as children, your little one may be more likely to have them too.
Other sleep disruptions Conditions like sleep apnea or restless legs can fragment sleep and contribute to night terrors.
Nightmares, on the other hand, tend to be more connected to emotional experiences and developmental stages. They often relate to your child's daily stresses, big transitions like starting preschool, exposure to scary content, or their natural developmental process of working through fears and anxieties.
How can you support your child?
If your child experiences a night terror:
Stay calm and don't try to wake them - as scary as it is to watch, your child isn't actually awake or in distress. Waking them may increase confusion.
Keep them safe - gently guide them back to lying down if needed, and ensure their environment is safe to prevent injury.
Wait patiently - most episodes last 1-5 minutes, though they feel much longer when you're watching.
Supporting your child after nightmares:
Offer comfort and reassurance - your presence, hugs, and soothing voice will help them feel safe after a frightening dream.
Listen if they want to share - let them tell you about their dream while validating their feelings and reassuring them it wasn't real.
Use comfort tools - a nightlight, favorite stuffed animal, or staying a few extra minutes can help them feel secure.
How can you prevent sleep disruptions?
Prioritize consistent, adequate sleep Ensure your little one is getting enough sleep for their age and try to maintain regular bedtimes and wake times, even on weekends.
Create a calming bedtime routine A predictable sequence of quiet, soothing activities like a warm bath, gentle stories, and dimmed lights can help your child's body prepare for restful sleep.
Keep a sleep diary Track when episodes occur and what might have triggered them—illness, schedule changes, stressful events, or overtiredness—so you can identify patterns.
Maintain an optimal sleep environment Keep your child's room cool, dark, and quiet with white noise if helpful, creating the best conditions for deep, uninterrupted sleep.
When should you talk with your pediatrician?
Most night terrors and nightmares are a normal part of childhood development and don't require medical intervention. However, consider reaching out to your little one's doctor if:
Episodes happen several times per week or are increasing in frequency
Your child or family members are at risk of injury during episodes
Sleep disruptions are significantly affecting your child's daytime behavior, mood, or development
Episodes continue well beyond early childhood or are causing significant stress for your family
You notice other concerning sleep behaviors or symptoms
In some cases, your pediatrician may recommend working with a pediatric sleep specialist who can provide additional strategies or, in rare instances, suggest an overnight sleep study to rule out other sleep disorders.
Remember, this phase will pass
Watching your little one experience night terrors can feel like witnessing something out of a scary movie, only to discover the next morning that they slept peacefully through the entire episode. The most important thing you can do is remain calm, keep your child safe, and trust that in most cases, they will naturally outgrow this phase.
Nightmares, while genuinely upsetting for your little one in the moment, are often easier to address with your loving comfort, patient listening, and gentle reassurance that they're safe in your care.
Sleep challenges are just one part of the parenting journey, and every phase—even the scary ones—will eventually pass. You're doing an amazing job navigating these nighttime disruptions, and remember that you don't have to figure it all out alone.
The team at My Sweet Sleeper understands how exhausting and worrying sleep challenges can be for the whole family. If you'd like personalized support creating a sleep schedule that works for your child or guidance on improving your family's overall sleep quality, we offer one-on-one consultations tailored to your unique situation.
For families dealing with toddler sleep challenges, our comprehensive sleep guides and resources can give you the tools and confidence you need to help your little one—and yourself—get the rest you deserve.
Contact us today to explore how we can help your family sleep more sweetly.
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