How to get a toddler to sleep in their own bed after co-sleeping.

Feb 10

There is often confusion around the term co-sleeping as it can be used to describe the practice of sharing your bed with your kiddo or having your little one in a crib in the same room as you. However, when it comes to sleep recommendations, the distinction between bed sharing and room sharing is important.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) strongly advises against bed sharing with infants under the age of one as the practice is known to raise the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Whereas room-sharing, with your little one sleeping in a crib next to your bed, has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS.

As kiddos pass their first birthday and enter toddlerhood, bedtime battles can become frequent, and parents may begin to practice bed-sharing with their little ones to get more sleep. At the same time, other families make a conscious decision to snuggle up with their kiddos in bed and enjoy the closeness once the risk of SIDS has decreased.

Whatever the reason, unfortunately, there comes a time when sharing a bed with your toddler becomes unsustainable, and you have to transition your little one to their own bed. Your kiddo is accustomed to the comfort of having you with them all night, so navigating this transition takes time and patience.

In this post, we’ll outline how to get a toddler to sleep in their own bed after co-sleeping so you and your little one can manage this change with ease.

Find the right time

Transitioning from co-sleeping into an independent bed can be stressful for your kiddo. It’s best to take it slowly and plan as much as possible. When choosing a time to start the transition, try to select a period when life is relatively calm. Significant changes like the arrival of a new baby, weaning, potty training, or starting daycare can be overwhelming and unsettling for your kiddo, so it’s best to avoid transitioning during these times.

Your little one needs to be well-rested and calm…and so do you.

Communicate with your kiddo

In the weeks leading up to the transition, talk to your little one about moving into their own bed. Explain to your kiddo what is going to happen and that you are so excited and proud that they are ready to sleep independently. Communicating openly with your toddler will make them feel part of the process and prepare them emotionally for the change to come.

Make it a positive move

Toddlers are yearning for control and independence, so play into these desires when planning the transition. Get your kiddo excited about the move by involving them in preparing their big kid room. Encourage them to take ownership of their new space and let them choose room decor and bed linen to make their room feel special.

Your toddler will be more likely to view the transition positively if they experience a level of control and contribution in the process.

Start with naps

It’s natural for kiddos to experience heightened anxiety at night, making it more challenging to sleep independently. So, it’s worth considering starting the transition during daytime naps when your little one may be in a better place to practice the self-soothing skills required to sleep in their own bed.

As your kiddo gains confidence, you can graduate to having them sleep in their own bed at night.

Have a sleepover

If your little one is showing significant signs of anxiety about their first night in their own room, consider planning a sleepover. Organizing a sleepover can help transform your toddler’s fear and reposition the first night in their bed as a special occasion. You can get creative with your kiddo and make it a fun celebration of their growing independence.

In the morning, when they have successfully slept in their own bed, be sure to praise your toddler and express that you are so proud of them for achieving this milestone.

Stick to a consistent routine

A solid bedtime routine will help your kiddo to unwind and stay calm, making it easier for them to self-soothe and fall asleep independently.

Try adding some of these activities into your nightly routine to support your toddler.

Take a warm bath.
Read a book together.
Sing a song or listen to music.
Share a time of prayer.
Put on some white noise.

Remember, your little one has been used to relying on you for comfort at bedtime, so they will likely need continued co-regulation from you during the transition. This might look like sitting on the end of the bed or a chair while they fall off to sleep. It’s best to try and leave the room before your kiddo is completely asleep, but this may not be possible. Be guided by your little one and take it slowly.

Lastly, offering your toddler a transitional item like a soft toy or blankie can help them self-soothe and provide comfort when you leave the room.

Prepare for night wakings

You can follow all the recommendations on how to get a toddler to sleep in their own bed after co-sleeping, but that is only half of the battle. Getting your little one to stay asleep in their bed all night is a challenge within itself.

When your child wakes up in the middle of the night alone in their room for the first time, it’s not surprising that they might get distressed and wander into your room for comfort. Although it may be tempting to let them climb into your bed and snuggle up, doing so will only confuse them.

Stick to the plan and gently walk your little one back to their room. Try to keep interactions to a minimum, provide them with comfort and repeat the bedtime routine of sitting on the end of the bed if necessary.

Be patient and seek support

The process of how to get a toddler to sleep in their own bed after co-sleeping requires patience, time, and a little grace. It can be an emotional and challenging time for you and your little one. So be kind to yourself and reach out for support when you need it.

My Sweet Sleeper offers one-on-one personalized coaching sessions tailored to your unique kiddo’s temperament, or if you’d like to get started on a self-paced program, check out our Toddler Sleep Class, where you’ll get step-by-step guidance to help you manage this stage of development with your little one.

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