My second child was a completely different sleeper than my first - here’s how I handled it

By Caitlyn Goebel

“Say goodbye to sleep! You’re always going to be tired once the baby is born!” These were the phrases I often heard while pregnant with my first son. I would smile and reply, “Oh well! I’m sure it’s going to be worth it!” After all, I did have a bit of a heads-up because I had a really hard time sleeping while pregnant with my first born.

Surprisingly, once he was born I slept much better than when I was pregnant. However, with my second child, it was a completely different story.

When I had my firstborn, Graham, I was a working mama. I put him on a schedule pretty early on, and he was such a mellow, easy-going baby.

He was sleeping through the night at only a couple months old and napped like a champ. What a gift it was for me, especially when I returned to work. I remember thinking that everyone was crazy for telling me I’d never sleep and that having a newborn doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your sleep. However, with my second son, Levi, I had a wake-up call.

Levi was born with a rare congenital heart disease and needed open-heart surgery at birth. He was in the pediatric intensive care unit for a month, and I was rarely allowed to hold him.

Once we brought our sweet miracle boy home from the hospital, I could care less if he slept or not - as long as he was breathing and alive, I was overjoyed!

I didn’t stress about putting him on a schedule and more so focused on nursing him when he cried, even if that meant multiple times throughout the night. This continued pretty much up until I decided to wean him around fifteen months, so we could all finally get some sleep. 

Although it was a rough year of little sleep and trying to care for two little ones at home (Graham and Levi are only sixteen months apart), I would say it was worth it.

We did have long days while trying to keep Levi healthy and take him to all of his doctors appointments related to his heart, especially when he ended up with an infection a couple months after his surgery, which resulted in another hospital trip (a couple hours away from our home).

That being said, his nap and sleep schedule just wasn’t a priority those first several months of his life. Because of Levi’s health situation, I wasn’t focused on sleep, but rather, just tried to focus on helping him gain weight and his overall health.

I also wasn’t supposed to let him cry for more than a couple minutes at a time, which resulted in nursing him to stop his sweet tears. Thankfully, once I weaned him, he has been the most amazing sleeper since! 

I know that if Levi were born healthy, I probably wouldn’t have nursed him all night that first year of life. I most likely would have been more uptight and put him on a schedule, like I did with Graham.

However, his heart failure has opened my eyes to the gift of life, and even though I know how important sleep is, him being alive and healthy was more important. 

I am currently pregnant with my third baby (a girl), and Levi and baby number three will be twenty five months apart. As I think about sleep training and sleeping in general, I still have a more laid-back attitude towards a strict schedule. I do plan to sleep train the baby before she turns one; however, I am only planning to do so if she is healthy and thriving. 

Honestly, if there are any other health factors involved, I will likely nurse during the night if needed. And because I will have two toddlers in tow, baby number three will most likely nap in the stroller or baby carrier, as we will be on-the-go a lot! 

It’s funny how in thinking back to being pregnant with my first born… I was so focused on sleep and schedules, and I took for granted the fact that I had a healthy baby. What a gift and a true miracle a healthy baby is! 

Now that I am pregnant with my third child, I can hardly think about sleep, or the potential lack thereof. Instead, I am just grateful that so far our baby is healthy and thriving! If we can get her to have healthy sleep patterns after birth, great!  However, I would say it isn’t a top priority for me as I think about that first year of life together, and that’s okay.