Seven sustainable self-care tips to help new moms get better rest (that don’t involve sleeping when the baby sleeps)
I’m a thirty something first time mom of a five month old. And I consider myself to be a bit of a scatter-brain with perfectionist tendencies, so naturally I wanted to be prepared for my new baby and handle his sleep needs along with my own! Seeing that I skipped taking any newborn sleep classes and went straight to enrolling in a sleep consulting program in anticipation of a new baby, really speaks to that!
Although learning about infant sleep really helped prepare me as a new mom, what I am finding to be just as important in my new mom journey, is finding sustainable ways to incorporate self-care.
For me, finding time to squeeze in self-care along with tending to baby's sleep and development, makes all the difference in how rested I feel, even if I am more tired than I was pre-baby.
I’ve compiled a list of seven sustainable self care tips for new moms (that don’t involve sleeping when the baby sleeps), to help other new moms feel rested and get better sleep! They are things I try to do for myself, that I hope will help other moms too.
1. Get outside for fresh air and exercise. Although going for long walks in the park or attending ninety minute workout classes may be excellent goals for some, I find that even taking small opportunities to stretch make a difference in how I feel. In the mornings or evenings, I find it helpful to work in a few cat/ cow sequences to relieve back, neck and shoulder tension, and counter poor posture from carrying my seventeen pound baby. This reduces the tossing and turning at night due to muscle tension, and helps me get better sleep.
Also, unless it’s bad weather, I try to get outside once a day and either go on a stroller or baby wearing walk. For me, I much prefer to babywear, as I find it more convenient to strap on my Ergobaby carrier instead of lugging the heavy stroller and seat outside, and I’m less likely to hurt my back! I notice babywearing outside is a nice calming activity for us both. It gets us fresh air, physical contact, which is calming for both me and baby, and the sunshine is great for keeping our circadian rhythms in balance.
Sometimes when I think I need a second (or third) cup of coffee, getting outside is what ends up giving me the extra boost of energy I am looking for.
2. Set wake up and bedtimes. This is definitely one I need to work on! But ideally I am up an hour before baby’s daily wake up time, so I have time to fit in a basic morning routine. For me that might be a quick breakfast or a shower and skin care routine— even if I don’t have time for makeup. Research backs this up as well, as consistent wake up timings are associated with better sleep quality, shorter sleep onset, and even less sleepiness throughout the day. The same idea applies to consistent bedtimes on the weekends, when it can be easy to fall out of a routine.
I definitely notice a difference in how rested I feel, with more consistent bed and wake times.
3. Eat when the baby eats. It can be a challenge for me to make healthy food choices when I feel busy managing the baby’s feeding times. What is helpful is bringing a healthy snack, and water when I am about to sit down to feed baby if a full meal isn’t feasible.
My automatic “go-to” is filling up my mug of coffee, and guzzling it while I feed baby, which leaves me feeling dehydrated and sluggish later on in the day. But, it is very doable to grab snacks that are easy to eat one-handed instead, like a piece of fruit, cheese, or nuts and bring them with me to the sunny spot in the window where I do feedings.
Substantial fuel gives me more energy and is more conducive to feeling balanced and rested.
4. Schedule work out/ me time in advance! Saying I’ll do xyz “when I have time” means it will NOT happen because I’ll always be able to fill time endlessly with other things such as reading parenting articles, or doing chores. So if you are like me, and good at avoiding “me time”, and have access to help— take it!
The dirty pile of laundry will still be waiting for you after a break, and odds are it’ll feel less of a chore once you’ve taken care of yourself.
5. Splurge on an at home comfort item. This is something I didn't do, but I wish I did. We have a stylish mid century modern gray and natural colored rocking chair in our nursery, that I paired with a gray, shag footstool. I love how it looks! But looking back, I’d say the style is not worth the mediocre level of comfort it provides. My rocking chair is something I use multiple times a day for feedings, or a story as part of our bedtime routine, and I wish I would have invested in something more comfortable (even if it were less stylish!).
A high quality glider with a recliner would have been the perfect option, and recommend others do the same! Such a simple change can help prioritize comfort when caring for baby, and help feel more rested during the more relaxing routines.
6. Spend time challenging negative thoughts. I often find myself noticing things I feel like I am “not doing enough of”. I’ll question, did I do enough tidying? Work in enough tummy time? Spend enough time connecting with my partner? Do enough laundry? Ensure my baby got enough sleep?
If you are also guilty of being self-critical, to help counter your nagging inner voice it can be helpful to challenge the negative thoughts with a positive mantra or reframe.
For example, when you have a thought like “I didn’t finish all the chores that need to be done” remind yourself “I am doing my best and am a blessing to my family”. Or “How could I let them miss a nap?”, because of course it is bound to happen, remind yourself “I am not a perfect mom, but I love my child and I’m the perfect mom for them”. Or for those moments you aren’t feeling particularly fun, and energetic, “I am showing my child love by being present”.
This practice may feel silly, but it may help put your mind at ease when you are laying in bed at the end of the day trying to wind down to sleep.
7. Reach out to friends/ social support. This is one is important as motherhood can be isolating, especially in the early days. Sharing a moment of stress with a friend or family member can make the experience feel a bit lighter, and even help you find the humor in the situation. And if you can’t do a face-to-face meet up with a friend, participating in online support groups, or even Facebook mom groups can be an effective social outlet as well.
Research shows online support groups, even Facebook support groups, help reduce levels of stress in moms and improve health. Whether it's posting a question, sharing a tough experience, or even a funny photo, I have found sharing in these groups makes my experience more relatable, and can be an enjoyable way to spend some time.
FaceTime is great too if face-to-face isn’t an option! Video chatting with grandma is always a fun way to spend some time in our house.
All in all, it is important to remember that self care is parenting too!
Studies show sometimes mothers can associate motherhood with extreme forms of self-sacrifice, but we know that it is equally important for moms to take care of themselves as they do their family, and to stay rested. So, if you are expecting or are a new mom looking to find more time for yourself, know that you are doing a great job!
As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup!
*Disclosure: The Ergobaby link is an affiliate link, where we earn a small amount from your purchase. However, all of our product recommendations are always authentic and honest, and the commission does not affect our recommendation.
Sources:
Adriane M. Soehner, Kathy S. Kennedy & Timothy H. Monk (2011) Circadian Preference and Sleep-Wake Regularity: Associations With Self-Report Sleep Parameters in Daytime-Working Adults, Chronobiology International, 28:9, 802-809, DOI:
Barkin, Jennifer L., and Katherine L. Wisner. "The role of maternal self-care in new motherhood." Midwifery 29.9 (2013): 1050-1055.
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